Profiles in presence: Shanan Kelley

Interview with Shanan Kelley IN HER OWN WORDS:

This month, we have the privilege of sharing a visit with Shanan Kelley, our inimitable Groundswell emcee, whose life path was forever changed by an experience that brought her into direct contact with the work of The Peaceful Presence Project. Shanan has long been a part of a friendship circle of Bend creatives.  They support one another in various ways and in early 2020 things changed dramatically for one member, Kaycee, who had been battling cancer for two years. In late December, Kaycee learned that no further treatment could help her, so at age 40 she opted for comfort care, went onto home hospice services and began to prepare for her last weeks and death. The wagons circled; friends were called. This group, consisting of 40+/- year-olds, single striving artists, began to care for one of their own.

“There are so many things that happen at the end of life that you don’t know are going to happen. So many conversations, so many resources that you need and don’t know that you need them until you are there. When I look back on that time, I don’t know how we could have done it without Peaceful Presence. They allowed us to be really present for Kaycee and took care of things in the background. Plus they took care of many things that would have been really hard for us and made it seem effortless. We were flying blind, like not having access to all of your limbs. Things would get to what we thought was maximum intensity  . . . and then it would ramp up from there.

“Peaceful Presence came through for us in so many ways. Sometimes the things that are small are the most impactful, such as  getting a three day candle supply for the wake. And if you so choose to understand what you are going through, Peaceful Presence really sets the stage, providing on-going support for that. They were checking in on me and my friends; they facilitated an understanding of what we were going through while we were caring for Kaycee and then afterwards.”  All of this was going on during the early months of Covid, compounding the challenges with restrictions for connection and mutual support. 

Right after Kaycee’s death, Shanan experienced physical and emotional exhaustion unlike anything she had been through. Covid was rampant, her work was at a necessary standstill so she spent a couple of months healing, processing and slowly nourishing herself back into a state of health. During this time of resting and being easy on herself, she also felt an emerging spiritual integration of the experience. Her grief over losing her dear friend helped her realize how precious it had been to wholly commit the ultimate acts of love that paved the way for Kaycee to transition beyond this life. To sum it up, Shanan is filled with gratitude for the bittersweet chapter in her life that taught her so much about end-of-life and death. “I will never regret making myself available to having this time with my friend and being present for this. You know when your higher self is talking to you and this was one of those times.” Moving through the intervening years, she says,”There is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss my friend in body but I also still feel very much in relationship with her.” Shortly before her death, Kaycee expressed a wish for a fund that would support artists in the community. “Kaycee was the first person to say “yes!” to other people’s creative projects. After she died we created the Kaycee Anseth Legacy Foundation, a 501c-3 non-profit that gives small grants to artists who connect through the organization’s website. Over the past six years we’ve been able to provide seventy grants to local artists. This has been a really interesting way to see the shift from Kaycee in body to the ways she continues to live on in spirit with her influence on art in the community. I always say this is the silver lining.”

Another significant benefit to the community has been Shanan’s involvement in TPPP’s major fundraiser and in-person event, Groundswell, for the past three years. “I feel very honored to be a part of it”, she relates. “It gives me a chance to do the work I do in the most magical way. How many opportunities in my professional life do I get the chance to touch on grief and humor and community and connection and death? All of these things in one package. For me it’s an amazing opportunity to include all of the things I’m truly excited about in one ‘go’”.  In thinking about The Peaceful Presence Project: “I’m just so proud of them. It’s really inspiring to have a group of people with such passion about literally the second most important thing we do when we come here: first we are born, and second, we all leave this earth. Since my experience with Kaycee I feel differently about facing death now. The way I show up to support family members, and the way I feel about death has profoundly changed.” 

We all have ways through our own experiences and perspectives to impact the things in life that we care about.  As Groundswell emcee, as well as in her daily connections with people, Shanan has found her way to support the mission of TPPP and to change the culture around death in our society. “Every single person deserves grace, love, comfort  and compassion at the end of their life. In so many ways, Peaceful Presence addresses that. As an event, Groundswell is a wonderful community conversation where a great mix of people show up to be there. I would encourage anyone to come to learn, engage and be a part of it.”

Shanan Kelley is a professional writer, emcee, benefit auctioneer and group facilitator. As well, she is a practitioner of human design and a yoga instructor. She is known for her fun sense of humor that she injects into everything she does. We are very excited that Shanan will be joining us and sharing her talents once again at Groundswell on September 26th!